“please grab your homework on your way out of class”
not sure if i need sex, sleep, or to punch someone in the face.
my favourite sex position is 9
curled up in my bed
I hate it when you are having a bad day and everyone takes it personally, like no i hate myself, not you. get the fuck over yourself.
- me during the whole episode: *yells 'what the fuck'*
- me at the end of the episode: *whispers 'what the fuck'*
It’d be nice to get a “hey I’d fuck you” every once in a while
aww when you’re trying to erase an app and the apps start shaking almost like they’re nervous like “god please not me please not me”
I have bullshitted my way through almost two decades of life
- police: THIS IS THE POLICE! OPEN YOUR DOOR NOW!!!
- me: not with that attitude
dont judge a book by its cover. my math textbook has a picture of someone enjoying themselves on it. i did not enjoy myself at all
one person is born a year which means that right now there are 2013 people on Earth right now. Truly amazing.
uhm, there was 2006 people in my secondary school in 2011, that would mean everyone in the world except five went to my secondary school.. i think you might be wrong sir..
do i look like a liar?
my body isnt a temple my body is a castle with a moat and crocodiles and a dragon who will set you on fire if you touch me
when you have unlimited texting but only text two people.
when somebody actually texts me first and wants to hang out
take a moment to realize you have never seen your face in person, just reflections and pictures
some scientists agree that if you saw a clone of yourself, you wouldn’t recognise it as you, because our idea of what we look like is so different from what we actually look like
This gave me anxiety
and the hobbit fandom wins the award for successfully gif-ing an entire trailer in 5.8 picoseconds
- everyone: it's just a book
- you: YOU KNOW NOTHING
my friend was a vegetarian for 13 years and she just started eating meat and i asked her what its like and she said “what even are chicken nuggets and why do i want them all the time” ………. i think she speaks for us all
IS NOONE GOING TO MENTION HOW HARD IT IS TO MAKE DIRECT EYE CONTACT? DO YOU STARE IN THE LEFT OR THE RIGHT IDK
i do this really cute thing where i read your message then forget to reply
if you cut your pizza into really small pizzas you can use it as a topping for a different pizza